Tag Archives: my project

Imposter Syndrome – Robbin Chapman PhD

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Robbin Chapman, PhD who is the Associate Dean for Diversity, Inclusion and Belonging in the Office of Diversity, Inclusion and Belonging at the Harvard Kennedy school, published a presentation about imposter syndrome. Whilst I would love to share every page of it here, I’ve screenshotted the slides that resonated the most with me and that I think are the most relevant to my research.

(Complete side note, I really like the name of Diversity, Inclusion and Belonging. It somehow sounds more friendly and welcoming than Equality, Diversity and Inclusion.)

Almost all of these describe the environment at arts based education institutions. And other places too, of course. From conversations I’ve had, art schools are some of the most competitive and exclusive places that people can choose to study. I have also heard that whilst there might not be ‘systems of oppression’, the environment itself can feel oppressive.

These might all be amazing and helpful tips, but I think they are easier said than done. I also think that normalising self doubt is a scale – there is a certain level of self doubt that isn’t normal, and can prevent people from functioning to the best of their abilities in an education environment and in the workplace.

I would add ‘create’ to this list for the group of students I am focusing on for my project. They are all creative students and making art is a valid way of expressing how you feel, or just a way to release any pent up frustration, anger or disappointment.

This self assessment tool was thought up by one of the women who first coined the term ‘imposter phenomenon’. I like the idea of self assessment but I do think it would be easy to cheat, and downplay how you are feeling. Sometimes when people fill in things like this, they still give the answers that they are expected to give, even if they are not showing the results to anyone. However, if this chart was filled in with 100% honesty, I can see it being a very helpful tool in the realisation of how much or how little you are experiencing imposter phenomenon.

Something about this that I find quite odd however, is that the self assessment tool at the end of the presentation has had its name changed. Originally it was called the Imposter Test or the IP (meaning imposter phenomenon) by Pauline Rose Clance when she wrote it – as seen here on her website. https://paulineroseclance.com/pdf/IPTestandscoring.pdf
I think this is a great presentation and very helpful for students in higher education, but I do have to question why it was necessary to change the name of this self assessment tool. Was it just to create a more cohesive presentation? Or was it because imposter syndrome is the more commonly accepted name for this feeling?
When I first saw this presentation about imposter phenomenon, I thought that maybe it is something that arts based universities should display on their websites, or around campus. But I am unconvinced about how many people would pay attention. I know that personally I ignore most posters that I see on the walls at CSM, simply because I don’t have the time to stand and read a long poster. (I’d also probably be in the way, based on where they are usually hung)

https://projects.iq.harvard.edu/files/hks-communications-program/files/pp_robbin_chapman_041119_impostor_syndrome.pdf

Environmental Stress

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With a short amount of time left, I decided that I couldn’t physically speak to everyone that I had already interviewed. So instead I sent emails with a one question survey, asking them to describe the environment at their university.

Not everyone responded, which I expected seeing as it’s a hectic time of year for everyone, and emails get lost in inboxes very easily. If I’d been able to speak to these people face to face I would have asked them to expand on these answers. But I think it says something that in short snappy responses, I didn’t get one outright positive answer. I suppose high pressure is more of a neutral answer, because it could be a good or bad thing, depending on attitude and how one copes under pressure.

“Empowered”

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After changing my question and adding ’empowered’ into it, I decided to do some research into what being empowered means.

This screenshot from Cambridge Dictionary online gives two definitions and uses. I find it interesting that the example sentence for the first meaning talks about girls being empowered. Why not just people in general? Does this imply that it’s only women who need to work on feeling empowered?

I decided that this warranted some further research in the hopes of answering my questions but also gaining further insight into how empowerment is viewed.

The main part of the word is ‘power’ – Liz Kelly (1992) observed “I suspect it is ‘power to’ that the term empowerment refers to, and it is achieved by increasing one’s ability to resist and challenge power over”. Using this meaning, my question would essentially mean ‘how can female working class students have (or find?) the power to overcome their feelings of imposter syndrome in an arts education environment?’

According to an article written in 1995 by Jo Rowlands, there are three types of empowerment:

Personal : where empowerment is about developing a sense of self and individual confidence and capacity, and undoing the effects of internalised oppression.

Close relationships : where empowerment is about developing the ability to negotiate and influence the nature of the relationship and decisions made within it.

Collective : where individuals work together to achieve a more extensive impact than each could have alone. This includes involvement in political structures, but might also cover collective action based on cooperation rather than competition. Collective action may be locally focused for example, at village or neighbourhood level or institutional, such as national networks or the United Nations.

For my project I am talking about maybe the first and third types of empowerment more particularly. Unless students consider themselves to be in a relationship of sorts with their university, which doesn’t seem likely.

From searching for articles about empowerment in journals, I have observed that a lot of them are focused towards empowering women in the workplace or in society in general. These articles have been dated as far back as the 1990s so the topic of empowerment clearly isn’t just a current issue.

Rowlands, J. (1995). Empowerment examined. Development in Practice, 5(2), pp.101–107. doi:10.1080/0961452951000157074.

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Interview Transcript

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Below is a transcript of an interview I did with a student at Falmouth University. This interview was recorded with consent and transcribed by myself.

FR – Thank you for meeting with me today. I wanted to talk to you about your experiences at university. I believe you studied at both an arts specialised school and a non specific university?

RP – Yes, that’s right. I did my BA at art school and then left to go elsewhere for my MA.

FR – Was there a specific reason you made that decision?

RP – Yes and no. I honestly hated art school. I suppose I wanted a change of scenery with less pressure.

FR – Did you hate art school because of the teaching side of it or was there something else?

RP – I didn’t fit in there. I mean, I tried. But I couldn’t afford to socialise as much as I wanted and no one seemed to understand that. I came across as introverted and shy, I think and I struggled to make friends with my class mates. I was so scared of failing or being taken off the course because I didn’t come from the same background as others did.

FR – I’m sorry, that sounds like a tough experience for you. Did you ever talk to the university about how you were feeling?

RP – No I couldn’t. I was scared that they would tell me to leave if I was struggling so badly. I know that there was counselling they offered but I never took advantage of that. I didn’t want to admit that, I don’t know, I was seconding guessing everything? I love art, I really do. But being at art school felt like I was living in a pressure cooker and the lid could blow off any minute. Wow that sounded very dramatic *laughs*

FR – I understand what you mean. I think there’s an illusion of art school being glamorous and such fun. But there’s also a feeling of being like a fish out of water. At least from my perspective. Would you agree with that?

RP – Yes absolutely. I don’t know if that feeling is exclusive to students who come from poor backgrounds obviously but it’s a tough place to be if you are surrounded by people in paint covered designer clothes and you’re wearing Oxfam from head to toe.

FR – Talking about being a fish out of water, would you say that you struggled from imposter syndrome?

RP – I don’t know. I think that’s a term that is batted around a lot nowadays and has maybe lost its original meaning. But I do know that I felt like an imposter and as though I was a placeholder for the student who was meant to be there instead.

FR – So going back to your academic journey, once you’d left art school. Did you have similar feelings once you were at a generic university?

RP – I knew you’d ask me that. And honestly, I didn’t. I saw a lot more students that sounded like me and were also working two jobs to pay their tuition. And honestly, people were a lot more open about their lives and where they came from.

FR – That’s interesting. I wonder why that is. Do you have any thoughts?

RP – I have a theory.

FR – Would you be willing to share it with me?

RP – Absolutely. Art school is high pressure, as I mentioned earlier. There’s an expectation that you’ll do your degree and form amazing connections that will set up a career once you’re done. But a normal university? There are so many varied courses, and it mirrors society more. You’re not trapped in a building full of artistic temperaments.

FR – I’ve never thought about how a non – specialised university mirrors society. That’s really interesting! Thank you so much for your time today.

RP – You’re welcome. Good luck with your project.

This interview was very interesting to me. The thing that I found the most interesting was that this student studied at an arts institution and then made the decision to do their MA at a non arts based university.
After conducting this interview I endeavoured to find out if there was a way I could find out how many students study at an art school and then leave that environment to carry on their education, studying a creative subject in a ‘normal’ university. However, I couldn’t find any figures around this – maybe I was searching for the wrong thing or in the wrong places. But the more likely answer is that data around this isn’t collected or is unavailable to view if it is. There is data around retention rates of students, however it doesn’t tell you where the leaving students go so I didn’t find this helpful.

Another thing that struck me about this conversation is that this student was reluctant to say that they experience imposter syndrome but would say they feel like an imposter. I also found it interesting how this feeling went away once they were studying outside of an arts education environment.

Uni Connect

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When I was last at my volunteering job, I got into conversation with a lady who works in the EDI department at Demontfort University in Leicester. I was telling her about my research and she suggested that I look at a scheme called Uni Connect that the other university in Leicester is part of.

There are currently 29 universities taking part in this scheme, spread all over England. None of the universities taking part specialise in the arts which I find interesting. Historically there has been a big push directing young people from underrepresented groups to STEM subjects and I have been unable to find any evidence of something similar for the arts. I am curious as to why there are no arts based universities on this list as diversity within the arts is something that is very topical.

I find it very interesting that there is targeted outreach as part of this scheme, as I have been told by multiple people that universities can’t target a specific group of people because it’s unethical. I suppose the difference is the context?

As you can see from this image, the funding amounts fluctuates. However the funding is dependent on how many learners are in each area so this difference in amounts of funding makes sense. I think it is important to note that in the majority of areas, the amount of funding being accessed has decreased in the last 2 years. Perhaps this is a knock on effect from Covid.

https://www.officeforstudents.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/promoting-equal-opportunities/uni-connect/

Tutorial 10/10

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Today I went into my tutorial with a question – albeit a slightly stupid one in hindsight. I asked David how to present my research at the festival in a way that utilises my background in photography….

Just writing that makes me realise how badly I was tying my brain in knots trying to avoid the obvious answer. However David challenged me to branch out into video, and I think that this is challenge I am going to embrace. Having arranged interviews with stakeholders in the coming weeks, I plan to ask if I can video them. And then compile the interviews into a short film to which I can ask both stakeholders and experts to react. We spoke about how exhibitions are an intervention as long as you’re asking for feedback on it, and how this goes for anything. I know what makes an intervention, but sometimes I confuse myself or overthink it.

Action points:

  • Conduct interviews that I have arranged, and arrange some more ✔️
  • Teach myself the basics of video editing (or find someone who can teach me) ✔️
  • Reach out to more universities to learn about their outreach
  • Rethink my question – I know it needs to evolve but I can’t figure out how yet. ✔️
  • Look at short films that are comprised of interviews for inspiration ✔️
  • Write blog post summing up what I’ve learnt about the outreach approach from arts universities and non arts based schools. What are the main differences/similarities?

Tutorial 3/10

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First tutorial with David and I feel as though my mental block has disappeared! I think that I have been second guessing myself and my project too much, and focusing on the roadblocks I’m encountering rather than the successes I am having. We spoke about how CSM specifically has a reputation for it being difficult to get answers to questions and he suggested that I contact one or more of the other colleges that make up UAL such as CCW and LCC. Another conversation we had was about how in the UK, class is always the elephant in the room – it’s rarely spoken about but there’s always an undercurrent of it in the majority of situations.

Moving Forwards – Action points, ideas to research/think about etc

  • Show my academic argument for focusing on female working class students. Show why it is needed academically, rather than anecdotally. Illustrate why I’m focusing on what I am focusing on with the help of research and data, and pivot if needed. ✔️
  • Look at my project from the antithesis perspective. Potential arguments against my question, and also look at my question as less of a theory/idea. ✔️
  • Think about whether my stakeholder group has expanded to include potential applicants to universities for the next academic year. *If I am working on outreach as part of my research and interventions, then this would make sense, I think?* ✔️
  • Contact outreach at other institutions. How do other schools, not just art schools, entice students to study with them? What is working and not working? ✔️
  • Talk to educational policy officers at various universities, not just arts focused universities
  • Compare outreach at other arts universities – what are they doing that UAL are not? Compare and contrast and show the areas that UAL specifically are lacking, if any. ✔️
  • Contact the SU to work with them on a survey to work out how many female working class students there are – using re-enrolment figures potentially. They don’t have to disclose this under GDPR so I need to be inventive to get this data. ✔️
  • Offer to work directly with outreach teams. On a voluntary basis to collect data for my project. Kind of a quid pro quo situation. Have something to offer them in exchange for them helping me with my research – they are more likely to be receptive if this is the case.
  • Offer to volunteer with students who are potentially applying to university this year. Are they choosing an arts school? If not, why not? Have they thought about studying in London instead of staying where they currently are? *I have applied for a mentorship in this area at the Whitechapel Gallery which starts in November and I will look for other similar opportunities – this could lead into a paid role if successful* ✔️
  • Why are most HE teachers women? Did they go to an arts based university? Do they teach where they studied? *Look at the staff I see around me, as well as statistics if available. Maybe look at the ONS?*

The main takeaway from this tutorial for me, apart from all the advice, was David saying that the point of research isn’t to solve the problem. Research provides data and insight into what the problem is and presents possible solutions. I think up to this point, I’ve convinced myself that I’m going to make a huge change through my project. But really, that’s not what matters and that’s not how success is defined in the context of my project.

The Cost of Living Crisis

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I sent an email to a member of staff that Richard had pointed me in the direction of, and they suggested I look into how the cost of living crisis is going to affect working class students. I have to admit, I had not considered this as something that was relevant to my project, but after more research, I think that it is.

https://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/bills/article-11099735/Uni-students-deferring-places-cost-living-crisis-one-seven-fear-homeless.html

This article talks about a study conducted by Nationwide Building Society. The main bullet points of the article are:

  • 2/3 of students are struggling to afford their rent or have fallen behind in paying it
  • 22% of students know someone who has become homeless over the last year due to financial difficulties
  • 3/4 of students have had to borrow money from friends or family to afford rent and essentials like food
  • 4/10 students are reliant on their overdrafts
  • Whilst 4/5 A-Level students are applying to go to university, 15% of these are considering deferring their place because of the cost of living
  • Over 90% of A-Level students said that the cost of living crisis has affected how they feel about attending university this year
  • The cost of living has risen 9% this year and students are afraid it will rise even further
  • 3/5 students are worried about how they will afford their accommodation and 50% are worried about how they will afford nights out

This article is very confusing to me. I don’t know if it just the way that I digest statistics, but having them in a multitude of formats hurts my brain – I’d rather they were all fractions, or all percentages. However, that isn’t the important takeaway here. I think that these numbers are worrying – there was no information about the demographics of the participants in this study. But if we assume that there is a range of backgrounds amongst the participants, it is not only working class students who are worried about how the cost of living crisis is going to change things. And if someone who comes from what is considered to be a ‘comfortable’ background is concerned about money, then working class students must be very concerned.

This is just one study though so I think it’s important to look for corroboration or rebuttals against this.

Unite Students have an episode of their podcast Accommodation Matters about this particular issue. I found the whole thing interesting but this quote especially stuck out to me

Not only does this make the case for female students needing more money than their male counterparts, it talks about how they are suffering a lot more when it comes to mental health, sleep and even relationships. I have sent an email to the PR mentioned at the bottom of the survey they reference, to see if I can get a copy of the full survey.

https://www.unitegroup.com/articles/rising-cost-of-living-increases-pressure-on-parents-with-children-at-university-unite-students

https://www.unitegroup.com/articles/cost-of-living-crisis-students

https://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/bills/article-11099735/Uni-students-deferring-places-cost-living-crisis-one-seven-fear-homeless.html

Further Feedback from Intervention

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As we approach a new semester, I have asked for further feedback from my intervention in the form of statements about participating and any suggestions my stakeholders have for moving forwards with my project.

“Taking part in this activity, I thought I wouldn’t gain anything from it and that it was pointless. But I was so wrong. I learnt that how I feel about being working class isn’t unique to just me. I learnt that I am not as alone as I feel when I’m at university and I’ve kept in contact with the other girls who attended this online event. Felicity made us feel comfortable and I could tell that she could relate to the terms that we were all sharing.” Jess

“I had never thought about what the word ‘working class’ meant to me before. I’ve always refered to myself as working class but had never thought about what it meant to me. Taking part in this gave me the opportunity to really think about it, and I came to realise that there’s not just one definition for it. I learnt a lot from taking part and I’m intrigued by where your project is going to go next.” Mary

“I don’t know how you would take this forwards but I do know that it was nice to meet other students who feel the same way I do. I wish that UAL knew how I feel and what it is like being poor and out of place here.” L

“I think it would be useful for you to research if you can the demographics of the working class students here. Eg how many of them are disabled, have multiple jobs, have children and see if there is a common denominator. Maybe even their gender identity or sexuality? I’m not sure if that would be too invasive. But I think it could be interesting and might redirect your research.” S

From this feedback, I think I have an idea of what direction I need to take my secondary research in order to inform further interventions. Especially the last quote, where she suggested things that I could research.

Something I Missed

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During my presentation feedback on Wednesday, Richard informed that there is a whole group of people working on the same thing as my project in Student Services.

I’d not come across this through all my googling and the time I spent on the UAL website. And I think this illustrates just why my project is important.

If I, a researcher, couldn’t find any information about support for working class students, then what hope is there for students who are looking for this support? I plan to connect with these staff in student services and hopefully gain some insight into what they are working on, and what problems they have identified.

_________________________________________

Update 20th September

I emailed the person that Richard had pointed me in the direction of in the feedback after my Unit Two presentation, and whilst she is no longer working in this area, we had a very profitable email conversation. *I didn’t ask for consent to use her email address or name so I have blurred them out for now*

From this email conversation, I can see that there is still a lot of work I need to do in terms of researching the cost of living crisis and its impact on working class students, as well as positive discrimination and decolonisation work at UAL. Whilst she was unable to help with my project directly, I feel as though she has helped to redirect and focus my research going forwards.